Yesterday was obviously Xmas and in what is seemingly becoming the tradition, my brother and myself headed off to The Ship in Wandsworth to partake in Xmas dinner for those who were unable to be with their families and/or had to work and also to take part in the second annual Wii Bowling Ashes.
The Wii Bowling Ashes were originally thought when the Wii was being played a year ago and we, by which I mean Phil, Jonny, my brother and myself, worked out we could do an England vs Australia Ashes test series on the Wii. It was a great idea and there was only one simple rule the first time. Every 5 frames,a shot of Jägermeister had to be consumed. Of course as this was an Ashes test series, there were five test matches. So five matches, ten frames a match, you do the math on how many shots we had. That didn’t included the drinks we were having before, after and during the series. So needless to say the next morning we were fucked over completely and I suffered the wrath of my then new girlfriend for still being drunk on the way to meet her extended family.
This year however the rules were extended, mostly with punishments for fucking up or even do well. As one of my tweets categorically states “There is no winning or losing in Wii Bowling Ashes, only strawpedoes and Jäger.” The extended rules are as follows.
- Throw a gutterball – shot of Jäger
- Misthrow the ball – shot of Jäger
- Three strikes in a row (Turkey) – shot of Jäger or Smirnoff Ice Strawpedo.
- Win a match – Smirnoff Ice strawpedo
- Lose the test series – A shot of Jäger, a strawpedo, and a shot of Poire William in rapid succession.
So those were the stakes. They were high, but we also decided to only do a three match series so it kind of evened out. So for an outline of how the night went, here are a list of the tweets that were flying around that night in time order.
Phil - #WiiBowlingAshes hudson’s have just been wiped out of Smirnoff ice.
Daniel Barrett – Baha!!! Dont let @AdamCMcWhinnie have any!! #gameover RT@philwhite101: #WiiBowlingAshes hudson’s have just been wiped out of Smirnoff ice.
Phil – #WiiBowlingAshes warm up game goes to Australia. @JonnytheRocketand get some post game Jagers and a team talk.
Jonny – @philwhite101 @AdamCMcWhinnie some impressive lunges going on ahead of the #WiiBowlingAshes
Phil - #WiiBowlingAshes proper rules start as from now #worried
Jonny - Immo, however is refusing to lunge #controversial #WiiBowlingAshes@philwhite101 @AdamCMcWhinnie @SimonMcWhinnie
Phil - @JonnytheRocket opens with a half respectable 3.5 sec strawpedo#WiiBowlingAshes #gameon
Phil - First penalty Jager to @SimonMcWhinnie #WiiBowlingAshes
Jonny - @philwhite101 I was frankly disappointed with myself there#WiiBowlingAshes
Jonny - First #penaltyjager of the night to Australia’s @SimonMcWhinnie#WiiBowlingAshes
Jonny - And the second #penaltyjager goes to…… @AdamCMcWhinnie yes, the other Aussie #WiiBowlingAshes
Phil - #turkeyjager for @JonnytheRocket #WiiBowlingAshes
Jonny - To quote @philwhite101 there’s a fine line between gutterball, jäger and glory #WiiBowlingAshes
Phil - #WiiBowlingAshes gutter ball for @AdamCMcWhinnie drink, drink.
Jonny – I’m sure @AdamCMcWhinnie is trying to throw the game, 3 penalty jagers and a gutterball jäger #WiiBowlingAshes
Phil – #WiiBowlingAshes first test to Australia although England pick up the fair play award. @cathywhite10
Me – Aussies win the opening test but things may change with the penalty jagers impacting the Aussie side. #WiiBowlingAshes
Me – There is no winning in #WiiBowlingAshes only jäger and strawpedoes.
Phil – #WiiBowlingAshes its possible that the second test will be better for the Brits as the ozzies are pretty fobared.
Me – Second test of the #WiiBowlingAshes about to begin.
Jonny – The 2nd test of #WiiBowlingAshes about to commence, this could get ugly
Phil – #WiiBowlingAshes second test open with @AdamCMcWhinnie doing a jaeger.
Jonny – @AdamCMcWhinnie concedes a penalty jäger on his first shot, ugly it has turned. #WiiBowlingAshes
Jonny – And @philwhite101 pulls out his first strike of the series#WiiBowlingAshes
Jonny – Almost just killed @philwhite101 #chestbumpfail #WiiBowlingAshes
Phil – The chest bump after the second strike goes wrong and I’m lucky not to have a nosebleed #WiiBowlingAshes
Me – Excellent second strike by @philwhite101 in the #WiiBowlingAshes but the chest bump with @JonnytheRocket, way more entertaining.
Jonny – OMG turkey from @philwhite101 can only mean mean one thing#turkeyjager #WiiBowlingAshes
Jonny – I am playing like a nun with crabs #WiiBowlingAshes
Jonny – Oooohh, first English #penaltyjager goes to @philwhite101#WiiBowlingAshes
Me – A turkey shot of jäger being enjoyed by @philwhite101 in the#WiiBowlingAshes Who would have thunk it? Congrats to him http://t.co/ZIyvh9vV
Me – The 5th frame jäger has been replaced in fine fashion with the#champagnebomb at the #WiiBowlingAshes http://t.co/l3hHBV9k
Jonny - Merry Xmas to you @JnrHarrison #champagnebombs#WiiBowlingAshes
Jonny - @philwhite101 receives his 2nd #penaltyjager of the test, things could be slipping for England #WiiBowlingAshes
Phil - #WiiBowlingAshes anyones game. Come on England. @cathywhite10
Me - 9th frame and it’s anyone’s test. #WiiBowlingAshes
Me- The English may very well have the second test thanks to@philwhite101 spectacular bowling #WiiBowlingAshes
Jonny - Late drama in the #WiiBowlingAshes @AdamCMcWhinnie gutterballs England win 2nd test, @philwhite101 at his journeyman best
Me - English have the second test but Aussies will get the third#WiiBowlingAshes
Phil - #WiiBowlingAshes third test should be interesting as I can’t see.#pasoface
Me - English have won the second ashes test but the aussies will come back in the third. The losers punishment is severe. #WiiBowlingAshes
Phil - Looks like @AdamCMcWhinnie may be a man down #WiiBowlingAshes
Me - Third test in the #WiiBowlingAshes and I’m slightly concerned since my teammate @AdamCMcWhinnie is completely fucked.
Jonny - Exciting times at 3rd test @ #WiiBowlingAshes @AdamCMcWhinnie is almost passed out but continuing, @philwhite101 has incurred#jagerpenalty
Jonny - Oh dear #gutterball jäger for @philwhite101 things could be going wrong #WiiBowlingAshes
Me - #WiiBowlingAshes third test coming down to the wire despite a very drunk @AdamCMcWhinnie c’mon Aussies.
Jonny - I can confirm that the 2011 #WiiBowlingAshes have returned home to england
Me – England has taken the third ashes test. Congrats to them. They have done well. #WiiBowlingAshes
Me - The worthy winners of the #WiiBowlingAshes congrats to them.@JonnytheRocket @philwhite101 http://pic.twitter.com/8PaiIvK5
Phil – Epic night with @AdamCMcWhinnie @SimonMcWhinnie the Ashes won by the English. Until next year. #WiiBowlingAshes
Adam – @SimonMcWhinnie @philwhite101 @JonnytheRocket Fucking#jagerpenalties
Jonny – @AdamCMcWhinnie @simonmcwhinnie @philwhite101Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
#WiiBowlingAshes #jagerpenalties#champions2011
The Victors – Jonny and Phil.
So yes in the end. The aussies did lose the Wii Bowling Ashes. However there is always next year. Got no clue what rules we might make up for next year but it’s going to be a mess.